Have ever come across something so unfunny that they are funny. These anti-jokes are the antithesis of jokes, but yet we can find humor in them.
What is an Anti-Joke?
While other types of jokes such as short jokes and birthday jokes play on the situation, anti-jokes are a lot more subtle and indirect. When delivered with the straightest face possible, this type of anti-humor can have a comedic quality all of its own.
The listener may be expecting a punchline but it may never arrive. That’s the beauty of anti jokes.
Here are some unfunny anti jokes that are super funny in themselves.
Funny Anti-Jokes to Get Unexpected Laughter
1. What did the turkey in the oven say to the potatoes?
It sure is hot in here.
2. What did one stranger say to the other stranger?
Nothing. They were strangers and did not know each other.
3. A man walks into a bar.
He orders a drink and enjoys it.
4. What is brown and sticky?
Mud.
5. How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one if she is familiar with how to change a lightbulb.
6. A rhino walks into a bar.
Everyone gets up and leaves.
7. What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile?
“Robin, get into the Batmobile!”
8. What happened after Mary had a little lamb?
The doctor fainted.
9. What happened after Mary had a little lamb?
She went on to try the beef and pork.
10. What to hear something that makes you smile?
Your face muscles.
11. Have you heard the joke about a pizza?
I haven’t.
12. What’s the difference between a ping pong bat and a policeman?
A ping ping bat is a piece of sporting equipment. A policeman is a human that been entrusted with the job of enforcing the law.
13. Knock, knock.
Who’s there.
To.
To who?
No, it is “to whom.”
14. What is a pirate’s favorite class in school?
None. In all likelihood, when a person became a pirate, he never went back to school.
15. What is a werewolves’ favorite food?
Nothing. Werewolves are not real.
16. When is these worst time to see a dentist?
When you do not have to see a dentist.
17. Why is it hard to find someone from a French speaking land?
Because land can’t speak.
18. What happened to the man who stumbled upon a lamp in the middle of a cave?
He turned it on so that he could see the cave better.
19. What do a fighter jet and an apple have in common?
They are both not office blocks.
20. A duck walks into a bar.
A helpful patron picks up the duck and takes it back to the pond it came from and released it.
21. What is a bird’s favorite social media?
None. Birds don’t use social media.
22. What did one Swedish man say to the other Swedish man?
I don’t know. I don’t speak Swedish.
23. What did the fisherman say when he lost his fishing rod?
“Where’s my fishing rod?”
If you like fishing, check out our list of amazing fish jokes.
24. Roses are red, violets are blue…
But roses can also be blue if treated with a dye.
25. What happened to the coffee beans that misbehaved?
Coffee beans are inanimate objects and do not misbehave on their own.
If you do enjoy coffee, you may enjoy these coffee jokes that will get you brewing.
26. Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It is not. Numbers do not have feelings.
27. What do a rocket ship and a broom have in common?
Nothing.
28. What did one ant say to the other ant?
Nothing. Ants don’t communicate via speech.
29. What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo?
This ain’t my first rodeo.
30. Why did the bartender walk into a bar?
He worked there.
31. What did Peter Pan say to Wendy?
A lot of words over the course of the movie.
32. What do you call a cat that drinks?
A cat.
33. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Stolen.
34. Why did the blond have trouble driving with her glasses on at night?
Because she needed to get her prescription checked and a new set of glasses made.
35. What happened to the student who passed his science exam?
He didn’t fail it.
36. What is yellow and can’t swim?
A bulldozer.
37. Why do dinosaurs laugh at jokes?
They don’t. Dinosaurs no longer existing. Even if they did, they would not understand jokes told in the English language.
38. What do you call a talking and dancing rabbit?
Fictional.
If you do love rabbits, be sure to check out our rabbit jokes.
39. How many pears grow on trees?
All of them.
40. What is blue and fluffy?
Blue fluff.
41. When geese fly in a V formation, why is one side longer than the other side?
Because there are more geese on that side.
42. What would you call the Easter bunny if it didn’t collect Easter eggs?
Most likely still the Easter bunny.
If you would like more holiday humor, check out our Easter jokes.
43. Why was the coffee drinker so muddle-headed?
A person being muddle-headed has no correlation to whether or not he drinks coffee.
44. What happened when the air conditioning in the cheese factory broke?
They probably called in the air conditioning repair man.
45. What is white, cold and scary?
An avalanche.
46. Why do you call cheese that talks too much?
An anomaly. Cheese should not be talking.
If you appreciate cheese jokes, you will find more cheese jokes here.
47. Why did the cow jump over the moon?
That is an impossible scenario. Cows do not have the ability to jump over a fence, much less the moon.
If you like more bovine humor, check out our list of cow jokes.
48. What do you call a chef with a wooden leg?
Chef.
49. Why do people like drums?
Because they are easy to play; all you hav to do is hit them with a stick and they produce noise. Other instruments are harder to play properly and can require years of practice.
50. What is silver and bad for your teeth?
A spanner.
Even More Anti-Jokes
Are you loving these anti-jokes? Some are just completely dead pan, aren’t they? They are great for situations where everyone is expecting to throw a punchline but you then pull out something completely different but no less hilarious. Now, back to the anti-joke humor!
51. Why did the fish fall off the bike?
Because it had no legs.
52. Guess what I saw today?
Everything that I looked at.
53. Why wasn’t the gorilla allowed into the ballet?
Because he didn’t have a ticket.
54. What speaks for itself?
Words.
55. What’s worse than stubbing your toe?
Being chased around by a scary clown.
56. Why do we dress baby boys in blue and baby girls in pink?
Because they are unable to dress themselves.
57. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Most likely unintentionally.
58. What is the funniest anti-joke you know?
Not this one.
59. What is the best part of Switzerland?
The mountains.
60. If you had all the people in the world stand around the equator holding hands…
A lot of them would drown.
61. Why did the boy knock over the priceless vase?
Because he was clumsy.
62. What happened to Humpty Dumpty after he had a great fall?
He also had a great winter where he went skiing in the alps.
63. Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
It is to avoid muscular fatigue and physiologically easier for them. They can rest all their weight on one leg without having to use their muscles.
64. What is one thing in life that you can count on?
A calculator.
65. What happened to the man who was diagnosed with depression?
He was sad.
66. What happens if you take your age and add 10 to it?
That will be your age in 10 years time.
67. Do you know any good jokes?
Here are my favorite ones: uno, een, one.
68. What do you call frog that can’t hop?
A frog. Just because it can’t hop doesn’t change it into a different animal.
69. Why can’t you make a T-rex clap?
Because it is extinct.
70. What’s worse than finding a worm in an apple?
Falling into a sewer.
71. Why couldn’t the student hear what his teacher was saying?
Because he was wearing his headphones.
72. What do you call a man with an axe in his foot?
An ambulance. He is clearly hurt and needs medical assistance.
73. What’s the best way to confuse someone?
Act in a strange and erratic manner.
74. What starts with “a” and ends off with “z”.
No it does not. It starts with “w” and ends with “t”/
75. What do you call a car wash that no longer washes cars?
Broken.
76. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
One is a musical instrument and the other is a marine animal.
77. How do you stop someone from swinging on the tire rope?
Cut the rope.
78. A man walks into a bar looking very tired. The bartender comes over and asks the man, “Long day?”
The man replies, “No, every day is made up of 24 hours so there is no day that is longer than the next.”
79. Why can’t sheep drink vodka?
Because you can’t find vodka in a meadow.
80. What do you call a joke that isn’t funny?
A sentence.
81. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He wasn’t invited.
82. How do you get a vampire off a swing.
It would be better to leave him alone there and walk away as quickly as possible.
83. What is orange and tastes like an orange?
An orange.
84. What happens when you eat too much ice cream?
You get fat.
85. Ask me if I’m a tree.
Are you a tree?
Obviously not.
86. What did the policeman say to the other policeman?
We’re both policemen!
87. What did the accountant say to the other accountant at the coffee machine?
Do you have milk and sugar?
88. How big is Central Park?
As big as it is.
89. Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone?
He tripped.
90. What do you call a runny egg?
A mutant.
91. How is a laser beam similar to a cow?
They are both not golf clubs.
92. What did one Japanese guy say to the other Japanese guy?
“My name is also guy.”
93. What did the chemist enjoy going to the lab at night?
Because he was a night owl who enjoyed working at night.
If you like science humor, you will enjoy these chemistry jokes.
94. Why did the teacher take his class on a plane?
It was most likely for a school field trip.
95. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
96. What do you call a deer with only one eye?
A deer. Even if it is missing an eye, it is still called a deer.
97. I am the size of an elephant but I weigh nothing. What am I?
A riddle.
98. Why did the teacher tell her student that she was wearing too much makeup?
Because she was wearing too much makeup.
99. Why is there no restaurant on the moon?
Because there is no permanent human settlement on the moon that would justify having a restaurant there.
100. What does a dad joke sound like in space?
As bad as it does on earth.
101. Why did the coach tell the athlete to wear a pair of shoes?
Because he was not wearing any shoes.
102. What ended after December 2022?
2022.
103. What is green, red, blue, yellow and orange?
Colors.
104. What happened when the proton walked into a bar?
No one noticed it as protons are too small to be observed with the human eye.
105. What is yellow and something you should never drink?
A school bus.
106. What do you call a pigeon that can’t find its way back home?
Lost.
107. Knock, knock.
Use the doorbell.
We hope that you’ve enjoyed these funny anti-jokes. They are great for providing a twist to regular jokes and can be a great way to get attention.
If you have enjoyed these funny anti-jokes, we think that you will also enjoy these interesting riddles, or these funny jokes for kids, or these hard tongue twisters.
