Hey Science fans! Want to get your fellow geeks exploding with laughter? You can expect a super reaction with these funny chemistry jokes.
These are some of the best chemistry jokes that will cause your listeners to have a hilarious outburst. When you are looking for chemistry jokes for teachers, or just chemistry jokes and puns for an organic good time, we’ve got them here.
So grab your covalent bonds, set up the periodic table and hang on for an atomic good time with some of the top chemistry jokes and puns that you will find.
Funny Chemistry Jokes for Teachers, Students & Anyone into Science
1. What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe.
2. Did you hear that oxygen proposed to magnesium?
OMg!
3. What did the chemist say when he was asked if he had any Sodium Hypobromite?
NaBrO.
4. What is the formula for water?
HIJKLMNO – H to 0.
5. What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into the bar.
OH SNaP!
6. Do you want to hear a joke about potassium?
K.
7. Did you hear about the date that oxygen had with potassium?
It went OK.
8. What type of beverage can you make using cobalt and iron?
CoFe2.
9. What television show do cesium and iodine enjoy watching together?
CsI.
10. Did you hear the joke about cobalt, radon and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.
11. Why are Potassium, Nickel and Iron dangerous together?
Because together they make a KNiFe.
12. What is the chemical formula for sea water?
CH2O.
13. What fish is made up of sodium atoms?
2 Na.
14. Why is gold the best element?
Because it is Au-some.
15. Do chemists like hearing jokes about nitrogen oxide?
NO.
16. What do chemists enjoy eating with their eggs at breakfast?
Barium, cobalt and nitrogen (BaCoN)
17. What do you call a rucksack filled with sulfer, tungsten and silver?
A SWAg bag.
18. Do you know any good jokes about sodium?
Na.
19. Why didn’t the other elements trust the Lithium and Argon atoms that bonded?
Because they looks like a Li-Ar.
20. What fruit can you make out of barium and sodium?
BaNa2.
21. What are the elements of LiFe?
Lithium and Iron.
22. Why can’t chemistry teachers tell funny jokes?
Because all the good ones argon.
23. How often should you tell a chemistry joke?
Periodically.
24. What happened to the chemist who heard a good joke?
He slapped his neon hearing it.
25. Why do chemists like nitrates?
Because they are cheaper than day rates.
26. Why did the chemistry teacher us silicon rubber on his shoe’s soles?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
27. Old chemists never die.
They just stop reacting.
28. Where do German chemists put their dirty dishes?
In the zinc.
29. What did the bartender say when gold walked into the bar?
Au, get out of here.
30. Why do chemists enjoy telling jokes about the periodic table?
Because they are in their element.
31. What do you call neon on a bad day?
Ne-off.
32. What did one titration say to the other titration?
Let’s meet at the end point.
33. How many particles are there in a bowl of guacamole?
Avocado’s number.
34. Why was the chemistry teacher upset about having to teach about ammonia?
Because it very basic stuff.
35. Why do neutrons always get invited to go out?
Because wherever they go, there is no charge.
36. Why can’t you trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
37. Why are carbon and hydrogen such good friends?
Because they really bonded.
38. What were the physics and biology teachers always at odds with each other?
Because they had no chemistry.
39. What was Avogadro’s favorite sport?
Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.
40. What is the most important rule in chemistry?
Never lick the spoon.
More Funny Chemistry Jokes
Hilarious chemistry jokes are great for those who want to lighten up the mood in science class or grab the attention of listeners. Add a dash of humor here, titrate a few chemistry one-liners and puns there and you will be in your element drawing out laughter from the class. Ready for more witty chemistry jokes?
41. A neutron walks into a bar. It asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”
The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”
42. Which element on the periodic table is responsible for law and order?
The Copper.
43. Why was the noble gas sobbing in the corner?
Because all his friends argon.
44. Did you hear about the lightbulb that wanted to tell a chemistry joke?
It was at the tip of its tungsten.
45. Why did the army use acid in its attack?
Because it wanted to neutralize the enemy’s base.
46. An optimist sees the glass half full. A pessimist sees the glass half empty. How does a chemist see a glass?
Completely full – half with air and the other half with liquid.
47. What happened when the chemistry lab smelt like rotten eggs?
Everyone was sulfering.
48. What is Superman’s favorite element?
Krypton.
49. Why do people like telling their problems to chemists?
Because they have all the solutions.
50. Why are noble gases so lonely?
Because they are most stable alone.
51. What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
52. What do you call a clown who is felon?
A silicon.
53. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
You may have graduated but I already have many degrees.
54. What did hydrogen’s fans say to him?
You’re my number one!
55. Why do chemists enjoy going to clubs?
Because they like it when the base drops.
56. What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
Breaking up is hard to do.
57. Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve inert gases here.” What did Argon do?
Nothing, there was no reaction.
58. Why did the chemist replace the carbon atoms in a benzene ring with iron atoms?
Because he wanted to make a ferrous wheel.
59. Why did the two diamonds go to the movies together?
Because they were carbon dating.
60. Why was the diamond feeling very stressed?
Because it had been under a lot of pressure.
61. Why did the chemist take his dog to work?
Because it was a Laboratory Retriever.
62. What happens when you hear too many chemistry jokes?
It becomes a bit boron.
63. What happened to the chemist who lowered his body temperature to -273 degrees C?
Nothing. He was 0K.
64. How did the atomic spy introduce himself?
The name’s bond. Ionic bond.
65. Did you hear about the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teaming up?
They were instant alloys.
66. What is the chemical formula for ice?
H2O cube.
67. What did the charged atom say to the other charged atom?
I’ve got my ion you.
68. Why was the gas chromatograph feeling distressed?
Because it was suffering from separation anxiety.
69. What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
70. Two atoms were walking down the street.
One atom says to the other, “I think I lost an electron.”
The other atom asks, “Are you sure?”
The first atom replies, “I’m positive.”
71. Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
72. What is the difference between a chemist and a bus driver?
They pronounce “unionized” differently.
73. What is a chemistry teacher’s favorite song?
Oh chemis-tree, oh chemis-tree.
74. If H2O is water and H202 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H204?
Drinking.
75. What’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?
Chemistry jokes are periodically funny but physics jokes have greater potential.
76. Why was the mole excited after leaving the bar?
Because he got Avogadro’s number.
77. Why did the police arrest the man for throwing sodium and chloride at people?
For as-salt.
78. Why didn’t proton speak to the other proton?
Because he was mad atom.
79. Which element never gets invited to parties?
Bohrium.
80. What is Cole’s law?
Sliced cabbage.
81. What do you call a grumpy acid?
A-mean-o Acid.
82. Why did the organic chemist always find himself being arrested?
Because he would end up in alkynes of trouble.
83. What happened to the chemist who heard a basic joke?
There was no reaction.
84. What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
Did you enjoy this brand of chemical humor? Well, we’ve got more ways to get laughter from those around you. How about more knee-slapping science jokes, or these funny kids jokes or these tough riddles to get people scratching their heads, or these super duper tough tongue twisters?
