Do you love coffee? Need a pot of the strong stuff to get the day going? Then you’ll love and appreciate these funny coffee jokes. They could be the next best thing to a cup of Joe to wake up your senses and get the day off on the right foot.
Funny Coffee Jokes That You’ll Love
1. What is coffee’s favorite gym exercise?
The French press.
2. What happened to the coffee that misbehaved?
It was grounded for life.
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3. Why did the coffee decide to file a police report?
Because It got mugged.
4. What do you call a cow that has just given birth?
5. Why did the coffee beans go to the comedy club?
To get roasted.
6. What did the two coffee experts say after they got married?
We were meant to bean together.
7. What’s a coffee’s favorite type of animal?
8. Why did the coffee decide to break up with the cream?
Because it wanted to be single-brewed.
9. Why did they decide to fire the coffee-shop worker?
Because the worker kept showing up in a tea-shirt.
10. How can you tell that there is something wrong with coffee?
When it gives you the jitters.
11. What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee?
12. What did the boy coffee say to his girlfriend?
You mocha me very happy.
13. How was the coffee able to take part in the Iron man competition?
Because it was really strong.
14. What do you call a coffee that is in a rush?
15. Why was the coffee drinker so muddle-headed?
He had a latte on his mind.
16. What did the coffee say to his Valentine?
You are so brew-tiful.
17. What is coffee’s favorite line of Shakespeare?
To bean or not to bean.
18. What’s the opposite of a coffee?
19. How did the coffee greet her friends?
With mugs and kisses.
20. What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
21. What did the coffee beans say to their mentor?
You keep me grounded.
22. Why did the coffee shop close for the day?
Because a storm was brewing.
23. Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch?
Because he was pressed for time.
24. What did the coffee as it handed up its overdue assignment?
Better latte than never.
More Hilarious Coffee Jokes and Puns
Who DOESN’T love the smell of coffee in the morning? As you sip your morning cuppa, you can also soak in more of these silly coffee jokes and puns.
25. What’s a coffee’s favorite karaoke song?
Hit Me With Your Best Shot.
26. What is an IT guy’s favorite type of coffee?
27. Why did the rabbit stop drinking coffee?
Because it made him jumpy.
28. Why did the man drink so much coffee at work?
Because it was part of his daily grind.
29. How are coffee beans like teenagers?
They are always getting grounded.
30. What did the iced tea say to the coffee?
“Hey there, hot stuff!”
31. What happened to the coffee that fell out with his friend?
Their friendship came to a bitter end.
32. What is the best coffee song by the Beatles?
33. How does Moses make his coffee?
34. What type of coffee do birds drink?
35. Why did the coffee like dirt?
Because it was ground just a while ago.
36. What happened to the coffee after it was arrested?
It had its mug shot taken.
37. What happens when you feel like you’ve been drinking the same cup of coffee over again?
38. What did the cup of tea say to the Indonesian coffee?
What’s Sumatra with you?
39. What happened when the man ordered a coffee-to-go?
The coffee got up and left.
40. How do astronauts buy their coffee?
41. What happened to the man who drink coffee with milky froth every day?
He had a latte problems.
42. What is a barista’s motto?
Rise and grind.
43. Why is it best not to talk about coffee with friends?
Because it can lead to a hot and strong debate.
44. What did the doctor tell the man who got a pain in the eye each time he drank coffee?
“Take out the spoon from the cup!”
45. How do you hunt down a cup of coffee?
With a shot-gun.
46. Why should you stay away from 10 cent coffees?
Because it’ll be a cheap shot.
47. What do you get when you mix coffee with a cow?
48. Where can you coffee that agrees with each other?
49. What do you call the level of a coffee factory that is at street level?
The ground floor.
50. Why did the man who was robbed of his coffee cup go to the police station?
To look at some mug shots.
If you enjoyed these coffee jokes, you may also enjoy these cheese jokes too.