160+ Halloween Jokes That Are Dead Funny

160+ Halloween Jokes That Are Dead Funny
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Although many will think of scary things when it comes to Halloween, it doesn’t mean it can’t be funny. (Plus, things get less scary when you can laugh at them) Here are some Halloween jokes that we think are delightfully corny and great to share as a trick or treat.


Halloween Jokes That Are Treats

Halloween Jokes That Are Treats

1. What do witches use on their hair?
Scare-spray.

2. Where do ghosts go on holidays?
The Boohamas.


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3. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires?
Fangs-giving!

4. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street?
Buckle your sheet belt!

5. What is a witch’s favorite class?
Spelling!

6. What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal?
A steak!

7. How do you know vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.

8. Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies?
Because you can see right through them.

9. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

10. What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!

11. Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift?
Because she had bad blood.

12. Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin.

13. What do witches put on to go trick or treating?
Mas-scare-a.

14. What kind of monster is the best dancer?
The boogieman.

15. Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!

16. What is a ghost’s favourite meal?
Spook-ghetti.

17. What did the fisherman say on Halloween?
Trick or trout.

18. Why are vampires like false teeth?
They all come out at night.

19. Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation?
The Dead Sea!

20. Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders?
Because they have spirit.

21. What’s it like being kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.

22. How do vampires start their letters?
“Tomb it may concern…”

23. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A grave problem.

24. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Day-scare.

25. Why do ghosts love going to the theme park?
Because they can ride lots of roller-GHOST-ers.

26. What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging?
You never know which witch is which!

27. Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

28. What is a recess at a mortuary called?
A Coffin Break!

29. What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters?
Booberries!

30. Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
Any old friend he could dig up!

31. What would you get if a pumpkin is dropped?
Squash!

32. Who are the werewolf’s cousins?
The what-wolf and then when-wolf.

33. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred?
Spooktacles.

34. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.

35. What can you catch from a vampire in winter?
Frostbite.

36. What’s a zombie’s favourite cereal?
Rice Creepies.

37. Why are all of Superman’s costumes tight?
They’re all size S.

38. What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
“Bone Appetit!”

39. What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Veinilla!

40. Why didn’t the mummy have any friends?
He was too wrapped up in himself.

41. Why didn’t the skeleton like Halloween treats?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.

42. What type of plants do well on all Hallow’s Eve?
Bam-BOO!

43. How do monsters like their eggs?
Terror-fried.

44. What is a jack-o-lantern with no lights and more sweetness called?
A Pumpkin pie.

45. Why was the vampire super intelligent?
Because he had been eating a pack of smarties!

46. The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
A coffin.

47. What do ghosts talk about at sleepovers?
They tell scary human stories.

48. Where does Dracula keep his money?
In a blood bank.

49. How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night?
Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!

50. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.

51. What instrument does the skeleton play?
The organ

52. How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried!

53. Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party?
Because it was grounded.

54. What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
Prank-enstein!

55. How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Give him screws.

56. What do skeletons fly around in?
A scareplane or a skelecopter.

57. What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
Vanishing Cream!

58. What nickname did the skeleton’s friends call it?
Bonehead

59. What noise did the witch’s cereal make?
Snap, crackle and pop!

60. What room does a ghost not need?
A living room.

61. What do you call a little monsters parents
Mummy and deady

62. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Spook-ghetti!

63. Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula?
He has a bat temper.

64. What do mummies listen to on Halloween?
Wrap music.

65. Why was the candy corn booed off the stage?
All of his jokes were too corny!

66. What type of dog does every vampire have?
Bloodhound!

67. What’s a ghost’s favourite yoghurt flavour?
Boo-berry!

68. What happens when a vampire goes in the snow?
Frost bite!

69. Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom?
He had no body to go with.

70. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
I scream.

71. Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid to unwind.

72. What does a panda ghost eat?
Bam-BOO!

73. Where do fashionable ghosts shop?
Bootiques.

74. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely?
The crossing gourd.

75. How do vampires get around on Halloween?
On blood vessels.

76. What candy does Winnie the Pooh give out every Halloween?
Bit-o Honey.

77. Which Halloween candy always has a bad smell?
Footsie rolls.

78. Why was the skeleton afraid of the storm?
He just didn’t have any guts.

79. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no-body to go with.

80. What do players at Wimbeldon eat on Halloween?
Strawberries and scream!

81. What goes “Ha-ha-ha-ha!” right before a gigantic sounding crash and then keeps laughing?
A monster laughing its head off!

82. What do birds say on Halloween?
“Trick or tweet!”

83. What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The grim sweeper.

84. What is in a ghost’s nose?
Boo-gers.

85. What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream.

86. What do owls say when they go trick or treating?
“Happy Owl-ween!”

87. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.

88. What is a vampire’s greatest fear?
Tooth decay!

89. What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.

90. What type of Halloween candy is never on time?
Choco-late.

91. What would you call a chicken who is haunted?
A poultry-geist.

92. What did one ghost say to the other?
Get a life!

93. What is the skeleton’s funniest bone?
Its humerus.

94. How do ghosts usually wash their hair?
With sham-boo.

95. What do you call two spiders that just got married?
Newlywebbed

96. What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin.

97. Who does Dracula get letters from?
His fang club.

98. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.

99. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To go to the body shop.

100. What type of pasta is mostly served in the haunted house?
Fettucine afraido!

101. What is huge, scary and has three wheels?
A monster riding a tricycle!

102. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Boo boos.

103. What do you call a mummy who tastes like candyfloss?
A yummy mummy!

104. How would you make a chocolate milk-shake?
By giving it a good scare!

105. Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with?
His ghoul friend.

106. Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat?
Boo jeans.

107. What is a vampire’s favourite fruit?
A neck-tarine!

108. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid

109. What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates

110. Why are ghosts so happy when they’re in an elevator?
It lifts their spirits.

111. How can you tell if a vampire has been to a bakery recently?
All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

112. What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy?
“Trick-or-feet!”

113. Where do ghosts like to go swimming?
Lake Erie.

114. Who was the winner of the skeleton beauty pageant?
No-body.

115. What do ghosts put on their turkey?
Grave-y!

116. Which ghost is the best dancer?
The Boogie Man!

117. Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
It didn’t have a haunting license.

118. Why should you always trust a mummy with your secrets?
They can keep anything under wraps.

119. What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock the house?
A spoo-key.

120. What position does a ghost play in hockey?
Ghoulie.

121. What can you say about a terrible mummy joke?
It Sphinx!

122. What do skeletons order at restaurants?
Spare ribs.

123. Know why skeletons are so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.

124. What do vegan zombies eat?
GRAAAAAAAAAINS.

125. What kind of phone do witches use?
A touch-toad phone

126. Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Because people are dying to get in!

127. Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy?
At the ghost-ery store!

128. What did the werewolf eat right after he got his teeth cleaned?
The dentist.

129. Know why skeletons are so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.

130. Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building.

131. What did the ghost wear to the dance?
Booooots.

132. What is a skeleton’s favourite instrument?
The Xlylo-bone!

133. Why won’t vampires prey on snowmen?
They’ll get frostbite.

134. Why did the witch look so angry?
She has a resting witch face!

135. What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help you clean?
Lazy bones.

136. What’s a ghoul’s favorite game on Halloween?
Hide-and-ghost-seek.

137. Why did the Vampire read The New York Times?
He heard it had great circulation.

138. What Halloween candy is never on time for the party?
Choco-LATE!

139. What would you call a ghost who has fractured his leg?
A hoblin goblin!


Knock Knock Halloween Jokes To Surprise Anyone

Knock Knock Halloween Jokes To Surprise Anyone

Knock knock! Who’s there? Some funny jokes about Halloween, that’s who. Read on to hear some funny and family-friendly knock knock jokes about Halloween that will give anyone who answers a hilarious surprise.

140. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Aida!
Aida who?
Aida lot of sweets and now I’ve got tummy ache!

141. Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Ben!
Ben who?
Ben waiting for Halloween all year!

142. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wanda!
Wanda who?
Wanda go trick or treating tonight?

143. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe please give me a Halloween treat?

144. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Diane.
Diane who?
I’m Diane to eat my Halloween candy!

145. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Getyur.
Getyur who?
Getyur fangs outta my neck!

146. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Figs!
Figs who?
Figs your doorbell, it’s broken!

147. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Bee!
Bee who?
Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!

148. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice Cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a ghost!

149. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad it’s Halloween!

150. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Howl!
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door!

151. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter open quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you!

152. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Dishes!
Dishes who?
Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!

153. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Fangs.
Fangs who?
Fangs for letting me in!

154. Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Ivana.
Ivana Who?
Ivana suck your blood!

155. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry! I didn’t mean to scare you.

156. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Olive!
Olive who?
Olive your Halloween costume!

157. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans off my candy!

158. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Twick.
Twick who?
Twick or tweet, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!

159. Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Phillip!
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!

160. Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Witch!
Witch who?
Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?


READ: Brand New Kids Space at HarbourFront Centre Opening 28 May

READ: Top Picks of June Holiday Camps & Workshops – Including a Space Camp!

READ: Discount Code to Enjoy 10% Off Holiday Camps