Get ready to add some laughter to your Halloween festivities with our collection of the best Halloween jokes. Whether you’re looking to share some jokes with your friends or family, or just want to have a good laugh to lift the spooky spirit, our Halloween jokes are bound to do the trick. These Halloween jokes and puns are perfect for both kids and adults, so everyone can join in on the fun.
From classic Halloween jokes to ghostly chuckles for kids, we’ve got you covered. Whether you associate Halloween with pumpkin jokes, skeleton jokes or monster jokes, it is a time when you can have a great laugh with family and friends. These Halloween jokes for kids are great fun and you can share them around as the kids go trick or treating.
Treat Yourself to Funny Halloween Jokes
1. What do witches use on their hair?
Scare-spray.
2. Where do ghosts go on holidays?
The Boohamas.
3. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires?
Fangs-giving!
4. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street?
Buckle your sheet belt!
5. What is a witch’s favorite class?
Spelling!
6. What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal?
A steak!
7. How do you know vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
8. Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies?
Because you can see right through them.
9. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
10. What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
11. Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift?
Because she had bad blood.
12. Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin.
13. What do witches put on to go trick or treating?
Mas-scare-a.
14. What kind of monster is the best dancer?
The boogieman.
15. Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
16. What is a ghost’s favourite meal?
Spook-ghetti.
17. What did the fisherman say on Halloween?
Trick or trout.
Funny Halloween Jokes to Crack You Up
Some jokes never get old, and these Halloween jokes are no exception. The holiday is also a fun time to tell all sorts of jokes, including monster jokes and ghost jokes. Here are some fun Halloween jokes to make the holiday even more fun.
18. Why are vampires like false teeth?
Because they come out at night.
19. Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation?
The Dead Sea!
20. Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders?
Because they have spirit.
21. What’s it like being kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
22. How do vampires start their letters?
“Tomb it may concern…”
23. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A grave problem.
24. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Day-scare.
25. Why do ghosts love going to the theme park?
Because they can ride lots of roller-GHOST-ers.
26. What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging?
You never know which witch is which!
27. Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
28. What is a recess at a mortuary called?
A Coffin Break!
29. What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters?
Booberries!
30. Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
Any old friend he could dig up!
31. What would you get if a pumpkin is dropped?
Squash!
32. Who are the werewolf’s cousins?
The what-wolf and then when-wolf.
33. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred?
Spooktacles.
34. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
35. What can you catch from a vampire in winter?
Frostbite.
36. What’s a zombie’s favourite cereal?
Rice Creepies.
37. Why are all of Superman’s costumes tight?
They’re all size S.
38. What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
“Bone Appetit!”
39. What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Veinilla!
40. Why didn’t the mummy have any friends?
He was too wrapped up in himself.
41. Why didn’t the skeleton like Halloween treats?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
42. What type of plants do well on all Hallow’s Eve?
Bam-BOO!
43. How do monsters like their eggs?
Terror-fried.
44. What is a jack-o-lantern with no lights and more sweetness called?
A Pumpkin pie.
45. Why was the vampire super intelligent?
Because he had been eating a pack of smarties!
46. The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
A coffin.
47. What do ghosts talk about at sleepovers?
They tell scary human stories.
48. Where does Dracula keep his money?
In a blood bank.
49. How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night?
Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!
Halloween Puns to Make You Laugh to Your Bones
Looking for a way to entertain your little ones during Halloween? Look no further than our collection of Halloween jokes that are sure to tickle their funny bones. These jokes are age-appropriate and designed to keep your kids engaged during Halloween parties or trick-or-treating.
50. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
51. What instrument does the skeleton play?
The organ
52. How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried!
53. Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party?
Because it was grounded.
If you like coffee, we think that you will like these coffee jokes.
54. What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
Prank-enstein!
55. How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Give him screws.
56. What do skeletons fly around in?
A scareplane or a skelecopter.
57. What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
Vanishing Cream!
58. What nickname did the skeleton’s friends call it?
Bonehead
59. What noise did the witch’s cereal make?
Snap, crackle and pop!
60. What room does a ghost not need?
A living room.
61. What do you call a little monsters parents
Mummy and deady
62. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Spook-ghetti!
63. Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula?
He has a bat temper.
64. What do mummies listen to on Halloween?
Wrap music.
65. Why was the candy corn booed off the stage?
All of his jokes were too corny!
If you enjoy candy, we predict that you will enjoy these candy riddles.
66. What type of dog does every vampire have?
Bloodhound!
67. What’s a ghost’s favourite yoghurt flavour?
Boo-berry!
68. What happens when a vampire goes in the snow?
Frost bite!
69. Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom?
He had no body to go with.
Funny Halloween Puns
It’s time to brew up some laughter with more wickedly hilarious halloween jokes and puns. These jokes are sure to cast a spell on you and keep you cackling like a witch all Halloween season long.
70. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
I scream.
71. Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid to unwind.
72. What does a panda ghost eat?
Bam-BOO!
73. Where do fashionable ghosts shop?
Bootiques.
74. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely?
The crossing gourd.
75. How do vampires get around on Halloween?
On blood vessels.
76. What candy does Winnie the Pooh give out every Halloween?
Bit-o Honey.
77. Which Halloween candy always has a bad smell?
Footsie rolls.
78. Why was the skeleton afraid of the storm?
He just didn’t have any guts.
79. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no-body to go with.
80. What do players at Wimbeldon eat on Halloween?
Strawberries and scream!
Spook-tacular Halloween Jokes and Puns
With these jokes, you’ll be the life of the party this Halloween. Share them with your friends, family, or even random strangers, and get ready to spread the laughter. Happy Halloween!
81. What goes “Ha-ha-ha-ha!” right before a gigantic sounding crash and then keeps laughing?
A monster laughing its head off!
82. What do birds say on Halloween?
“Trick or tweet!”
If you like these type of jokes, we think that you enjoy these jokes about chickens.
83. What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The grim sweeper.
84. What is in a ghost’s nose?
Boo-gers.
85. What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream.
86. What do owls say when they go trick or treating?
“Happy Owl-ween!”
87. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
88. What is a vampire’s greatest fear?
Tooth decay!
89. What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
90. What type of Halloween candy is never on time?
Choco-late.
91. What would you call a chicken who is haunted?
A poultry-geist.
92. What did one ghost say to the other?
Get a life!
93. What is the skeleton’s funniest bone?
Its humerus.
94. How do ghosts usually wash their hair?
With sham-boo.
95. What do you call two spiders that just got married?
Newlywebbed
96. What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin.
97. Who does Dracula get letters from?
His fang club.
98. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.
99. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To go to the body shop.
100. What type of pasta is mostly served in the haunted house?
Fettucine afraido!
Best Halloween Jokes, Puns and Laughs
We hope our collection of Halloween jokes has brought a smile to your face and added some humor to your celebrations. Laughter is the best medicine, and what better time to cure those spooky blues than during Halloween.
101. What is huge, scary and has three wheels?
A monster riding a tricycle!
102. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Boo boos.
103. What do you call a mummy who tastes like candyfloss?
A yummy mummy!
104. How would you make a chocolate milk-shake?
By giving it a good scare!
105. Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with?
His ghoul friend.
106. Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat?
Boo jeans.
107. What is a vampire’s favourite fruit?
A neck-tarine!
108. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid
109. What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates
110. Why are ghosts so happy when they’re in an elevator?
It lifts their spirits.
111. How can you tell if a vampire has been to a bakery recently?
All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
112. What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy?
“Trick-or-feet!”
113. Where do ghosts like to go swimming?
Lake Erie.
114. Who was the winner of the skeleton beauty pageant?
No-body.
115. What do ghosts put on their turkey?
Grave-y!
116. Which ghost is the best dancer?
The Boogie Man!
117. Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
It didn’t have a haunting license.
118. Why should you always trust a mummy with your secrets?
They can keep anything under wraps.
119. What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock the house?
A spoo-key.
Even More Halloween Jokes for the Holidays
Another popular tradition is making homemade Halloween costumes. These can range from simple outfits made from old clothes to elaborate hand-made creations. No matter what they look like, homemade costumes are always a hit at Halloween parties. Have fun during Halloween with these jokes and puns to evoke hilarious laughter.
120. What position does a ghost play in hockey?
Ghoulie.
121. What can you say about a terrible mummy joke?
It Sphinx!
122. What do skeletons order at restaurants?
Spare ribs.
123. Know why skeletons are so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
124. What do vegan zombies eat?
GRAAAAAAAAAINS.
125. What kind of phone do witches use?
A touch-toad phone
126. Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Because people are dying to get in!
127. Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy?
At the ghost-ery store!
128. What did the werewolf eat right after he got his teeth cleaned?
The dentist.
129. Know why skeletons are so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
130. Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
131. What did the ghost wear to the dance?
Booooots.
132. What is a skeleton’s favourite instrument?
The Xlylo-bone!
133. Why won’t vampires prey on snowmen?
They’ll get frostbite.
134. Why did the witch look so angry?
She has a resting witch face!
135. What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help you clean?
Lazy bones.
136. What’s a ghoul’s favorite game on Halloween?
Hide-and-ghost-seek.
137. Why did the Vampire read The New York Times?
He heard it had great circulation.
138. What Halloween candy is never on time for the party?
Choco-LATE!
139. What would you call a ghost who has fractured his leg?
A hoblin goblin!
Knock Knock Halloween Jokes To Surprise Anyone
Knock knock! Who’s there? Some funny jokes about Halloween, that’s who. Read on to hear some funny and family-friendly knock knock jokes about Halloween that will give anyone who answers a hilarious surprise.
140. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Aida!
Aida who?
Aida lot of sweets and now I’ve got tummy ache!
141. Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Ben!
Ben who?
Ben waiting for Halloween all year!
142. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wanda!
Wanda who?
Wanda go trick or treating tonight?
143. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe please give me a Halloween treat?
144. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Diane.
Diane who?
I’m Diane to eat my Halloween candy!
145. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Getyur.
Getyur who?
Getyur fangs outta my neck!
146. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Figs!
Figs who?
Figs your doorbell, it’s broken!
147. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Bee!
Bee who?
Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!
148. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice Cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
149. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad it’s Halloween!
150. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Howl!
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door!
151. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter open quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you!
152. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Dishes!
Dishes who?
Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
153. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Fangs.
Fangs who?
Fangs for letting me in!
154. Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Ivana.
Ivana Who?
Ivana suck your blood!
155. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry! I didn’t mean to scare you.
156. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Olive!
Olive who?
Olive your Halloween costume!
157. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans off my candy!
Even More Halloween Knock, Knock Jokes
Of course, no Halloween would be complete without some spooky stories. Whether they’re scary, funny, or just plain odd, these tales are always a favorite among Halloween lovers. Or perhaps you can tell a groaningly funny Halloween knock knock joke. So whatever your plans are for this Halloween, make sure to enjoy all of the fun and festive traditions that come along with it!
158. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Twick.
Twick who?
Twick or tweet, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!
159. Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Phillip!
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
160. Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Witch!
Witch who?
Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
Want even more jokes. These alpaca jokes are not llama! You may also enjoy these monster jokes, October jokes and November jokes.
You will also enjoy these funny
- zombie jokes,
- skeleton jokes,
- vampire jokes and
- monster jokes too!
