Animal jokes are just a hoot! They are can be great fun for those who wish just want to have a laugh. And as with the animal kingdom, animal jokes can be super diverse too.
Hilarious Animal Jokes for the Entire Creature Kingdom
Whether you are looking for funny animal jokes about animals in the farm, or jokes about wild animals or jokes about animals that live under the waves, there are plenty to choose from.
We’ve put together a whole list of our favorite animal jokes for kids and adults. They are sure to get a laugh from the listeners and they may end up neighing in giggles. These animals jokes will surely get you clucking, quacking and moo-ing with laughter. Share them with friends and family to get a great laugh.
HOLIDAY IDEAS: Discover the Best Things To Do in December
SANTA'S TOY FACTORY: Festive Workshops, Christmas Jingles & a Chance to Win a Car!
Farm Animal Jokes
1. What happened when the farmer cross-breed his cattle with hyenas?
It was the laughing stock of the farm.
2. What are goose bumps for?
To slow the geese down.
3. What time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
4. What do you call a sleeping bull?
5. What do you get from a pampered cow?
6. What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?
A milk dud!
7. What do ducks get after they eat?
8. What do you call a crate full of ducks?
A box of quackers!
9. Who stole the soap?
The robber ducky!
10. What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?
11. What was the first animal in space?
The cow who jumped over the moon.
12. Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moo-sicals!
13. What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure.
14. What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up!
15. How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a sty-scraper!
16. What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
17. Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?
Because he’ll hog the ball!
18. Why did the pig have ink all over his face?
Because he just came out of the pen.
19. How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck!
20. How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
21. What do ducks watch on TV?
22. Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 doors then they would be chicken sedans!
23. Why do cows never have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry!
24. What did the sick chicken say?
“I have the people-pox!”
25. What karate move does a pig do best?
A pork chop.
26. Where did the sheep go on vacation?
27. Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
Because there was a KFC on the other side!
28. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show everyone he wasn’t chicken!
29. Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
30. Did you hear about the chicken proof lawn?
It is impeccable.
Animals jokes can draw on many different sources. One of the most diverse sources of animal jokes and puns for kids are mammals. There are just so many different types of mammals in the world. From lions to big apes to African game, there are so many different sources for funny jokes about animals.
31. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
32. Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed!
33. What do you do with a blue elephant?
You try and cheer it up.
34. Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?
Because he got too jumpy!
35. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
36. What do rabbits eat for breakfast?
37. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court!
38. What is gray and blue and very big?
An elephant holding it’s breath!
39. What time is it when ten elephants are chasing you?
Ten after one!
40. What steps do you take if a tiger is running toward you?
41. How much money does a skunk have?
42. What did the leopard say after finishing a delicious meal?
“That hit the spot!”
43. Why do grizzly bears have hairy coats?
44. Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
45. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
46. When is a well dressed lion like a weed?
When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion)
47. How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
Pleased to eat you.
48. What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A giraffic jam
49. Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger?
He thought it was a lion!
50. What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
51. How do you stop a bull from charging?
Unplug it from the power plug.
52. Did you hear about the man who has a heart of a lion?
He has been banned permanently from the zoo.
53. Why did the lion spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
54. What animal gets ‘out of bounds’?
An exhausted kangaroo!
55. Why didn’t the leopard enjoy playing hide and seek?
Because he was spotted all the time.
56. What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip?
57. What animal is able to jump higher than the Eiffel tower?
All of them. The Empire State Building can’t jump.
58. What did the beaver say to the tree?
Nice gnawing you.
59. What do you call a bear with no ears?
60. Why didn’t the elephant get the job he wanted?
Because his qualifications were completely irrelephant.
61. Why did the team of witches always lose their baseball matches?
Their bats kept flying away.
62. Which is the least interesting beast in the entire animal kingdom?
63. Why don’t hippos criticize each other about their weight?
Because that would be very hippo-critical of them.
Jokes about Pets
Pets are some of our most beloved animal companions. That’s probably the reason why many love puns and jokes about pets. These pet jokes cover all the usual pets that you will find around the home including cats and dogs. We even has jokes about rabbits too.
64. What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?
“Should we walk home or take the dog?!”
65. What does the cat say after making a joke?
66. Why did all of the rabbits go on strike?
They wanted more celery.
67. How are a cat and a sentence different?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws; a sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!
68. What do you call a dog magician?
69. What’s it called when all the treats are gone?
70. What happened to the dog who ate nothing but garlic?
His bark was much worse than his bite!
71. Why did the cats ask for a drum set?
They wanted to make some mewsic!
72. What’s a dog’s favorite city?
73. What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day?
You’re purrr-fect for me.
74. Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?
75. What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?
A flea market!
76. Why shouldn’t you play cards in the jungle?
Because of all the cheetahs.
77. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A rocker spaniel!
78. When cats don’t want to say goodbye, what do they say instead?
“See ya litter!”
Jokes about Birds
If you love birds, then you will enjoy these jokes about birds and these winged animals. Of course we had to throw in our favorite jokes about penguins as well, after all they are absolutely adorable and we find them incredibly funny.
79. What do you call a penguin in the desert?
80. What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?
One is in violation of the law, the other is a sick bird.
81. Why do birds fly south in the Fall?
Because it’s too far to walk.
82. What do you give a sick bird?
83. Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if it lifted both legs it would fall over!
84. What is another name for an owls beak?
85. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
86. When does a teacher carry birdseed?
When there is a parrot-teacher conference!
87. What kind of bird works at a construction site?
88. Why do seagulls like to live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay they would be bagels!
Reptile, Bug and Slugs Jokes
Ready for more funny animal jokes for kids and adults? We’ve got some more to keep you laughing.
89. Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssside!
90. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
91. Why don’t people like jokes about insects?
Because they really bug them.
92. What happens when you remove a snail’s shell to make it go faster?
It actually makes it more sluggish.
93. What is the best way to cook a gator?
In a crock-pot.
94. What is the best way to tell is a snake is a baby or adult snake?
The baby snake has a rattle.
95. Why do ants never get sick?
Because they all have anty bodies.
96. What’s a frog’s favorite soda?
97. Why did the man enjoy raising caterpillars as pets?
Because it always gave him the butterflies.
98. What’s a reptile’s favorite movie?
The Lizard of Oz.
99. What do you call an illegally parked frog?
100. What did the iguana say to his crush?
Iguana be your valentine.
101. What’s more amazing than a talking dog?
A spelling bee!
102. Who comes to a picnic but is never invited?
103. What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over him?
104. What kind of fly has a frog in his throat?
A hoarse fly!
105. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
106. Why did the fly never land on the computer?
He was afraid of the web.
107. Why’s a bee’s hair always sticky?
Because it uses a honeycomb!
108. Why wouldn’t they let the butterfly into the dance?
Because it was a mothball.
109. What do you call a fly without wings?
110. How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!
Marine Animal Jokes
If you are fishing for funny jokes about animals, you will want to dive into these marine animals jokes. From fish to whales, the marine animals jokes for kids are classic and great for getting some hilarious reactions.
111. Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
112. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
113. What fish only swims at night?
114. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
115. What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
116. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
116. What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
117. Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales!
118. What did the SNAIL say while riding on the turtles back?
119. What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt penguin!
120. What animals are on legal documents?
121. Why did the whale cross the street?
To get to the other tide.
122. Where are fish in orbit?
In trout-er space.
123. Where do orcas hear music?