See a storm brewing? Need something to brighten up the mood when the skies are grey? We’ve got your silver lining: more than 80 different family-friendly rain jokes that you can enjoy.
Funny Family Friendly 80+ Rain Jokes
1. Why shouldn’t you fight with a rain cloud?
It’ll storm out on you.
2. Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mists.
3. What do you call a deer that loves being out in the rain?
4. What do you call a pile of coins in the rain?
5. What do you call a bear in the rain?
A drizzly bear
6. What is the king’s favourite weather?
7. What happened when it started raining coins?
It started knocking some sense into the world
8. What does rain do before marriage?
9. Why is Britain the wettest country?
Because royalty has reigned there for centuries.
10. What does a raincloud wear under his raincoat?
11. Why does a momma kangaroo hate the rain?
Because on those days the kids have to play inside
12. What did one raindrop say as it ran off the road?
This is a grate day.
13. When does it rain money?
When there’s a change in the weather.
14. Why were the rain and the lightning bolt in the news?
Are you sure you want to know? It’s shocking!
15. How did the skeleton know that it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
16. If a band is playing music and a thunderstorm hits, who is most likely to get hit by lightning?
The conductor of course.
17. Can bees fly when it’s raining?
Not without their little yellow jackets.
18. Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
Because It’s the clam before the storm.
19. What happens to wizards when it’s raining?
They get wet just like everyone else.
20. Why did the woman open her purse in the park?
She expected to find some change in the weather.
21. What do you call a big grizzly bear caught in the rain?
A really drizzly bear.
22. Why is wind power more popular than rain?
Because it has a lot of fans!
23. What goes up in the sky when the rain comes down?
24. Why was the sky not happy on clear days?
It had the blues.
25. What’s the difference between rain and climate?
You can’t rain a tree, but you can climate.
26. Why do cows always lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
27. Did you see the new movie about a tornado?
It’s got a great twist.
28. What is Santa’s favourite weather?
It’s rain, dear!
29. What’s the difference between a horse and the weather?
One is reined up for a while and the other rains down.
30. How do hurricanes see?
With one eye
31. What is hail?
32. Why did the umbrella go to the doctor?
It was feeling slightly under the weather.
33. Why do you have to act quickly during a flood?
Because it’s an emergent sea.
34. What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold?
You’ll be the end of me.
35. Why did the man go outside and put ketchup in the rain?
Because it’s raining cats and hot dogs.
36. What’s a tornado’s favourite game?
37. What do lightning bolts do when they laugh?
They crack up.
38. What kind of lightning likes to play sports?
39. What’s grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn’t get wet?
An elephant with an umbrella.
40. Why do cows always lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
41. What do you call it when it starts to rain ducks and chickens?
Seriously foul weather.
42. What do you call it when you cross a classic card game with a hurricane?
Bridge over troubled water.
43. How did you find all that rain on your vacation?
Well, we just went outside, and there it was.
44. What do you call a parrot with an umbrella on a rainy day?
45. What’s rain’s favourite accessory?
46. What did the really thirsty weatherman say to his colleague?
I need my thermos-stat!
47. Why should it rain money?
Because it makes cents.
48. Why do hurricanes move so fast?
Because if they moved slowly, we’d have to call them slow-i-canes
49. What type of cloud is really lazy, because it will never get up in the morning?
50. What do you find at the end of a rainbow?
51. What do you call the weatherman who really likes to eat steak?
52. Why did the weatherman blush?
He saw climate change.
53. What did one big tornado say to the other little tornado?
Let’s go ahead and twist again like we did last summer.
54. What did one raindrop say to the other little raindrop?
Two is company and three’s a cloud.
55. What is the wettest animal at the North Pole?
56. What do hurricanes most like to order for dessert?
57. What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
58. What do you call a big rainbow without any colours?
A plain bow.
59. What does a spy do when it’s raining?
He goes undercover.
60. Why was the weatherman so stressed?
Because the job is full of high pressure.
61. Why do raindrops like lightning at night?
Because they can see where they are going.
Knock Knock Rain Jokes
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Just some knock-knock rain jokes to brighten up your day.
62. Knock Knock
Rain dear, you know, Rudolph the Red Nose Rain Dear!
63. Knock Knock
Wendy today; cloudy tomorrow.
64. Knock Knock
Butter bring an umbrella. It looks like it might start raining.
65. Knock, knock!
Accordion to the Weather Channel, it’s going to rain tomorrow!
66. Knock Knock
Hurry! Cane you run away from the storm?
67. Knock Knock
Lettuce in, it’s raining outside.
68. Knock, knock?
A gust of wind over 74mph could be the start of a hurricane.
Rain Puns, One-Liners And Jokes To Laugh To
Here are some funny puns, one-liners and funny jokes about being in the rain to tell your family and friends.
69. Nothing like waking up to the gentle pitter-patter of raindrops falling on your face.
Now to only figure out who stole my roof.
70. I once entered a weather pun competition. I beat the raining champion.
71. Getting wet in the rain makes me sad. I had to run fast. I’d either escape the storm in time or cry drying.
72. A man is about to go to bed with his wife when there’s a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s 2:30 in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks and rolls over.
Then a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife.
So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing on the porch. It didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
“Hi there,” slurs the stranger. “Can you give me a push??”
“No, go away! It’s two in the morning. I was in bed,” says the man and he slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened.
She says: “That wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from class and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again? What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost?”
“But the guy was drunk,” says the husband.
“It doesn’t matter,” says the wife. “He needs our help and you should help him.”
So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the front door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, “Hey, do you still want a push?”
And he hears a voice cry out, “Yeah, please.”
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts:
“Where are you?”
And the drunk replies,
“Over here, on the swing.”
73. I had plans to go to the beach today, but the skies are cloudy and it is raining
It’s really irrigating.
74. I used to make it rain at my last job until customers complained about being hit with quarters.
75. My son asks me “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?” and I reply, “Yes son, the sky is pretty blue.”
76. I heard that by law you have to turn on your lights when it’s raining in Sweden. How on earth am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?!
77. Thereʻs is nothing bad about rain on your wedding day. It’s normal for a couple to have a bridal shower.
78. The emperor asked, “Could this be rain?”. The answer was “Hail, Caesar”
79. We were supposed to get rain today, but it blew out to the ocean. It was a real mist opportunity
80. I saw a baby owl caught in the rain. It was a moist owlet.
81. Man it was really raining cats and dogs today. Sure hope I don’t step in a poodle.
82. The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”
And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.” That was when I realized I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.
83. My son lost a youth baseball game because of heavy rain, he received a precipitation trophy
84. Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.
They rub it, and a genie appears.
“I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces.
The first dinosaur thinks hard.
“Alright,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy, piece of meat.”
Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he’d ever seen appears in front of him.
Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.
“I know! I’ll have a shower of meat!”
Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.
The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.
“I’ve got it!” he cries, “I want a MEATIER shower!”
85. Hear about the guy who tried shooting the rain with a gun?
86. It’s just started raining really hard and all my kid is doing is standing at the window looking sad. If it gets any stronger I’ll have to let them in.
87. I left a bottle of whiskey outside last night and it got rained on.
It’s not ruined but my spirits are dampened.
88. A man was on his way to visit his friend. Whilst driving, his car broke down and it began to rain so heavily, he couldn’t see his own hands in front of him.
He parked his car and walked for as long as he could, but the rain became too much to bear. He found a tree and stood beneath it, waiting for a car.
Hours went by, and he was beginning to give up hope. It was a quiet road indeed that he found him on. The next town wasn’t for miles, so he’d have to stay the night under this tree if he didn’t find a ride.
Just as things were looking grim, he catches a light moving slowly towards him. He’s saved!
Desperate for a ride, he jumps into the vehicle once it stops for him. Once in, he turned to the driver seat to say thanks, and only then did he realize the moving car had no driver. The rain was so heavy, he couldn’t even hear the sound of the engine as the car slowly continued its journey.
The man was too scared to move, too afraid to jump out of the car and run. Seeing the car was coming to a sharp bend that lead down to dark water, he began to pray for his life. He was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into the river, where he would surely drown!
Right before the car made it to the bend, a shadowy hand reached in through the driver side window and turned the wheel, guiding the car around the bend, thus avoiding a wet demise for the lad. Just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again.
Paralyzed with fear, the lad watched the hand reappear every time they reached a bend. Finally, scared to near death, he’d had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran towards the first town he could find.
Wet and in shock, he went into the nearest bar and told everybody about his supernatural experience. A silence enveloped the room and everybody got goosebumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth about the strange car and the ghostly hand that guided it on its way.
Just then, two men walked into the bar. They were dripping wet and as they took off their rain gear, they looked around the room. Their eyes came to rest on the hitchhiker. They pointed at him ominously, and he feared they were ghosts come to get him.
“Look!” said one of the men, “There’s the guy who jumped into our car when we were pushing it in the rain.”