Love being out on the water with a your rod and some bait? It is the perfect time to tell some fishing jokes that will lure in the laughter.
Whether you are fishing off the back of a boat, or by the dock, we are sure that these hilariously funny fishing jokes will be a perfect way to pass the time. Even seasoned fishermen will be able to enjoy these funny jokes all about different types of fishing and fishing adventures.
We think that you will definitely find laughter with these funny fishing jokes. Just be sure to share them with your family and friends for a fishy good time!
Fishing Jokes That Will Lure Out Laughter
1. Where do fish like to go for a holiday?
Finland.
2. What do you call a fish doctor?
A sturgeon.
3. What’s a fish’s favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
4. Why wasn’t the bad fisherman worried about getting a virus?
Because he never catches anything.
5. What game do young fish like playing?
Salmon says.
6. Why are fish so smart?
Because they swim in schools!
7. How do fishermen greet each other on their birthdays?
Have a reely great birthday!
8. What is the fastest fish in the water?
A motopike.
9. Why do penguins eat fish?
Because there aren’t any fast food restaurants in the sea.
10. Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales.
11. Why was the fish acting so shy?
Because it was koi.
12. Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The bobber shop.
13. Did you hear about the fisherman who was accused of stealing his friend’s fish?
He was gill-ty.
14. Why did the fisherman put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
15. Why did the Vegan go fishing?
Just for the halibut.
16. Why are fish so gullible?
Because they fall for things hook, line and sinker!
17. Why are goldfish orange in color?
Because the water makes them rusty.
18. Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank.
19. What’s the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.
20. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
“Dam!”
21. Why did the fish cross the road?
Fish don’t have legs so they don’t cross roads.
22. What is a fish’s favorite television show?
Name That Tuna.
23. What you get when four men go fishing and one returns without catching anything?
Three men and a baby.
24. What type of music do fishermen like to listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
25. Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Because Robin ate all the worms!
26. Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
Because he had only two worms.
27. Game warden: “Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, sir?”
Man: “I’m not fishing. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!”
28. What do you call a bad bait?
A fail-lure.
29. How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
Using the golf carp.
30. Why did the husband go fishing on Valentine’s Day?
To catch his wife a bouquet of flounders.
31. Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they aren’t good at walking.
32. What happened when a fight broke out at the seafood restaurant?
Two fish got battered.
33. What do you call a small fish magician?
A magic carp-et.
34. Why is it dangerous to tell a joke while ice fishing?
Because it’ll crack you up.
35. What type of money do fish us?
Sand dollars.
More Funny Fishing Jokes and Puns
We hope that you are enjoying this catch of fishing jokes. They are a great way to get the good times rolling while you cast out and wait to land the big one!
36. What did the fisherman magician say to the audience?
Take a cod, any cod.
37. What do priests eat during lent?
Holy mackerel!
38. How do fish start a business?
The start small and then scale it.
39. What do you call a fish with a car?
A carfish!
40. What fish carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
41. What do you call a fish without the eye?
Fsh.
42. What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda.
43. What is the richest fish in the world?
A goldfish.
44. What type of fish belongs in a circus?
A clownfish.
45. Where do fish sleep at night?
In a river bed.
46. Why are fishermen good at playing pool?
Because they are good at angling.
47. What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
48. What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing?
Darth Wader.
If you enjoy Star Wars jokes, be sure to read our collection here.
49. How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but you should have seen the bulb, it was THIS big, no THIS big, but even bigger.
50. What kind of musical percussion instrument can you use when you go fishing?
The cast-a-net.
51. What’s the difference between an angler and a dunce?
One baits his hooks while the other hates his books.
52. What makes fishing a lucrative business?
The net profits.
53. Fisherman: “What are you fishing for sonny?”
Boy: “I’m not fishing, I’m drowning worms.”
54. How many anglers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four, one to change the light bulb and three to brag about how big the old one was and about the one that they would have changed, but “it got away”.
55. Boy: “I just swallowed a fishbone!”
Camp Counselor: “Are you choking?”
Boy: “No, I’m serious!”
56. Did you hear about the new fishing website that has been delayed?
It’s not online yet.
57. What do you call a fish that grants wishes?
A fairy codmother.
58. What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?
One baits his hook, the other hates his book.
59. What sort of net is useless for catching fish?
A soccer net.
60. What sort of net is useless for catching fish?
A clarinet.
Even More Fishing Jokes for Fun & Laughter
Loving these fish jokes? We’ve got more funny ones that will be great for passing the time with your fishing buddy.
61. Why did the fisherman hang up on this friend?
Because he had something on the other line.
62. What does every fisherman want?
A gill-friend.
63. What happens to fish when they die and go to heaven?
They become Angelfish.
64. Did you hear about the fish that made it on to the rocket?
It got blasted to trouter space.
65. Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they are afraid of the net.
66. What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird’s leg, and a hand?
Bird’s thigh, fish fingers!
67. Two parrots are sitting on a perch.
The first one says to the other, “Can you smell fish?”
68. What do you call a girl leaning over the side of a fishing boat?
Annette.
69. How did the fish’s tail get stuck in the anchor chain?
It was just a fluke!
70. What fish do road construction workers use?
Pneumatic krill.
71. Why are fish always vulnerable while on the internet?
Because they fall for the click bait.
72. What is dry on the outside, filled with water, and blows up buildings?
A fish tank.
73. What kind of fish eats mice?
A catfish
74. What type of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
75. Which side of a fish has the most scales?
The outside.
76. Where do football players go shopping in the offseason?
The tackle shop.
77. What did the boy fish enthusiast say to his girlfriend?
“Your plaice or mine?”
78. What do sardines call a navy submarine?
A can of people.
79. What type of fish sounds like a telephone?
Herring, herring… herring, herring… herring, herring.
80. What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flatfish.
81. What was the name of Tom Sawyer’s fish?
Huckleberry Fin!
82. Which fish dresses the best?
The swordfish. Because it always looks sharp.
83. What do you get if you cross an abbot with a herring?
A monkfish.
84. What kind of fish will help you hear better?
A herring aid.
85. What day of the week are fish most frightened of?
Fryday.
If you need some jokes to end off the week, you will love these Friday jokes.
86. Why are fish cleverer than humans?
Because fish do not spend a fortune trying to hook a human.
87. What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd?
He called the piano tuna.
88. Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear?
Because they have electric eels!
89. What’s a sea monster’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
For more monstrous laughs, check out these monster jokes.
90. What music do fish listen to at the club?
Drum and bass.
91.Where is most fish found?
Between the head and the tail!
92. How do fish stay healthy?
By taking their vitamin sea.
93. What was the Emperor of Russia’s favorite fish?
Tsardines.
94. What’s the best way to catch a fish?
With two hands when someone throws it at you.
95. Why are fishermen always admired?
Because they are reel men.
Long But Funny Fishing Jokes
96. George went fishing, but he had not caught a single fish.
On the way back to camp, he stopped at a fish store.
“I want to buy three trout,” he said to the owner. “But instead of putting them in a bag, throw them to me.”
“Why do you want me to do that?” the owner asked.
“So I can tell everyone that I caught three fish!” replied George.
97. While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat.He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any gators around here?!”
“Nope,” the man hollered back, “they haven’t been seen around here for years!”
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy, “How’d you get rid of the gators?” “We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got ’em.”
98. A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while, another angler came to join him.
“Have you had any bites?” asked the second man.
“Yes, lots,” replied the first one. “But they were mosquito bites.”
99. A monastery is in financial trouble, so it goes into the fish-and-chips business to raise money.
One night a customer knocks on its door. A monk answers.
The customer asks, “Are you the fish friar?” “No,” he replies. “I’m the chip monk.”
100. Before her wedding, a mother took her daughter to one side and gave her this piece of advice: “Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.”
101. Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, “I am never going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!”
“That bad, huh,” his friend responded. “She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures, and worst of all she caught more fish than me!”
102. One day, a rather drunk ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice from above said, “There are no fish down there.”
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.”
He looked up into the sky and asked, “God, is that you?” “No, you idiot,” the voice said, “it’s the rink manager.”
103. Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid. The mermaid offered them one wish each.
The first fisherman said, “Double my I.Q.” So, the mermaid did it and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare.
Then the second fisherman said, “Triple my I.Q.” And sure enough, the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed.
The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q. and the mermaid said, “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!”
The fisherman said “Yes” So, the mermaid turned him into a woman.
104. One day, two guys Frank, and Bob, were out fishing.A funeral service passes over the bridge they’re fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.
Frank said, “Gee, Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!” Bob replied, “It’s the least I could do. After all, I was married to her for 30 years.”
105. Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait.
The first priest got up and walked across the water to get some more bait. After two hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait, so he got up and walked across the water.
After three hours of fishing, they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So, he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom.
The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, “Should we have told him where the rocks were?”
105. A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than him. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman, and said, “Only caught one, eh?”
106. The little kid was sitting on the side of the road with a fishing line down the drain.
Feeling sorry for him, a lady that was passing by gave him a dollar, and asked him gentle, “How many have you caught?”
“You’re the 11th one this morning, ma’am,” replied the kid.
We hope that you’ve enjoyed these funny fishing jokes. If you are still in the mood for a laugh, we’ve got a whole bunch of dad jokes that you will love.
