“Mama, wouldn’t it be great if you could send a robot instead?”
My child asked this after I had to miss a gathering because of a sudden bug.
“That sounds like a cool idea, but it wouldn’t be the same,” I replied, sharing briefly why being physically present is different from sending a robot.
That short exchange crystalized a profound reality for me: our children are growing up in a world where efficiency-driven technological advancements no longer surprise us. This era forces us to confront some big, essential questions: What makes human experiences truly human? How do we guide our children to use new technologies wisely?
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I found some insightful points in a podcast, Parenting in an AI World by Focus on the Family Singapore, featuring digital literacy educator Carol Loi. She shared key thoughts on raising children in a digital world and practical tips for building stronger family relationships.
One point that struck me was the shift from communal to fragmented media consumption. In the past, a family would gather around a single screen, laughing at the same jokes. Now, everyone retreats to their own devices after dinner. This erosion of shared media experiences means fewer opportunities to discuss values and engage our children.
Loi emphasised that having common experiences with our children is especially critical in the age of generative AI. These shared moments give us the space to impart values and cultivate a strong sense of discernment in our children.
While communal media can be a platform for discussion, we must prioritise shared real-life experiences. Values are caught, not taught, and this often happens in spontaneous, unstructured moments outside of the classroom. We cannot leave shared family life to chance, or confine it only to school holidays. Perhaps we need to regularly rethink our schedules and intentionally set aside time to simply do things together.
Modelling Healthy Boundaries
Loi also highlighted the necessity of setting—and teaching our children to set—healthy boundaries. This goes beyond device use and extends to other aspects of life such as friendships. Children need to learn for themselves how deeply to share, how to identify a toxic friendship, and when to step back. Through our guidance and their personal experiences, they will learn what makes a good friend. As we make ourselves available to hear and guide them, they will learn that an AI companion can never embody the qualities of a good friend.
The most powerful way to teach this is by modelling healthy boundaries in our own lives. How are we setting boundaries with our digital use? Does our phone feel like an extension of our hand? Are we protecting ourselves emotionally in our relationships?
Staying One Step Ahead
Ultimately, parenting in an AI world isn’t merely about managing devices or setting limits; it’s about nurturing values, developing discernment, and making genuine connections. Loi’s practical advice is to stay one step ahead of our children. We need to prepare ourselves for the experiences our children will soon face as they grow. Whether the topic is smartphones or sexuality, we need to be in active conversation with our spouse and seek support and wisdom from others in a community who are slightly ahead of us.
So, why shouldn’t I send a robot to a gathering in my place? I believe that as embodied beings, we are created for relationships and that a robot can never take my place. Similarly, if our children experience deep and meaningful human connection in their families and friendships, they are unlikely to find the same fulfillment in counterfeit connections.
Questions to Ponder:
How can we shift from fragmented to communal media experiences in our family routine?
What is one regular activity we can commit to that creates space for shared family experiences?
How can we model deeper, non-digital connections this week to show our children the richness of deep human connection?
This article was originally published on https://sweetsweetseptember.substack.com on 18 October 2025. Subscribe for free to Shihui’s Substack to read more of her thoughts.
