From funny rock jokes to puns about the study of them, here are some stone-cold hilarious jokes that you can enjoy with your family and friends. These are the kind of rocks that you can throw at someone that will only hurt them because they are laughing too hard!
80+ Rock Jokes To Throw To Friends
1. Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks
2. How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course
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3. Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite
4. Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder
5. What did the rock want to be when it grew up?
A rock star
6. What do rocks use for personal hygiene?
Geoderant
7. What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir
8. What do you call small rocks?
Mini-rals
9. What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites
10. Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober
11. Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form
12. What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom
13. What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder
14. Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite
15. What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium
16. Why did the rock shower every morning?
He wanted to start with a clean slate
17. What is a mountain climber’s favourite drink?
Anything on the rocks
18. Why are geologists great dates?
They are very sedimental
19. What is a geologist’s favourite type of music?
Hard rock
20. Where do geologists study?
At sedimentary school
21. What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
22. What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure
23. How did the rock feel when he got covered in algae?
He was lichen it
24. What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake
25. How did the rock feel about going to jail?
He was petrified
26. Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
27. Why was the geologist puzzled at the comedy show?
Because some of the jokes fluorite over his head.
28. What did the diamond say to its friend copper?
Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc
29. Which rock group is made up of four men who can’t sing?
Mount Rushmore
30. Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
31. When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age
32. How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level
33. Why did the miner get angry at little things?
Because he couldn’t keep his coal
34. Where do you take an injured rock?
To the Rocktor
35. Who is a geologist’s favourite band?
The Rolling Stones
36. Why was the coal’s alibi suspicious?
Because it wasn’t crystal clear
37. What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock
38. Why was the brick so arrogant?
Because it was the cornerstone of a large building
39. How was the rock and the stone’s relationship at first?
Solid
40. What did the motivational geologist say?
Don’t take life for granite
41. What did Darth Vader say to the geologist?
May the quartz be with you
42. Why was the ground concerned after the earthquake?
Because it became the epi-center of attention
43. Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned
44. Why does a space rock make the best rock soup?
Because it’s a little meteor
45. What weapon can you make from potassium, nickel and iron?
A KNiFe
46. What do you call a rock that complains?
A whin-estone
47. What did Sherlock Holmes say when Watson asked what type of rock he was holding? “Sedimentary, my dear Watson”.
48. Why was the rock not quick to jump to a conclusion?
Because it was a bit pegmatite
49. What do people love most about geologists?
Geologists are so down to earth
50. What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone
51. What do you call an unpleasant pebble?
A rude-ite.
52. What does a geologist who works as a part-time musician play?
A drum-lin!
53. Why did the two volcanoes face problems in their relationship?
Because they were star crossed lavas.
54. What do you call a dog who collects rocks?
A Rockhound
55. Why are limestones ignored?
Because they’re too chalkative for their liking.
56. What does the water in a geologist’s cup do?
Evaporite
57. Who is a geologist’s favorite comedian?
Chris Rock
59. What did the miner say when he was asked to take over his friend’s shift?
“Don’t quarry I’ve got this!”
60. Why was the geologist agitated?
Because he had lost his marbles!
61. Why don’t the giant limestones like the smaller ones?
Because they don’t like small chalk.
62. Why was the geologist displeased with his birthday gift?
Because all he got was a lousy chart!
63. What happened to the rock after continuous hours of interrogation?
It finally cracked
64. Are mountains funny?
Yes, they are also hill-areas
65. Why was the boulder unbothered by its broken piece?
Because it was just a fragment of his existence
66. Who is a geologist’s favourite actor?
Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson
Knock Knock Rock Jokes
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Some funny rock jokes that you will probably enjoy and rock out to.
67. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cirque.
Cirque who?
Cirque and you will find it!
68. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Coal.
Coal who?
Coal as a cucumber!
69. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quarry.
Quarry who?
Quarry not, I am here!
70. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Geode.
Geode who?
Geode bless you!
71. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Stone.
Stone who?
Funny Jokes About Rocks To Laugh At
Take a look at our top picks of jokes and puns about geology, rocks and more that you’ll be sure to enjoy.
72. It’s easy for Geologists to make a good impression. They just need to make sure they smell gneiss
73. You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up
74. Moss and Algae take a liking to each other.
Algae and Moss took a liking to each other and soon after got married. After a few years they realized their marriage was on the rocks.
75. This rock was magma before it was cool. Get it?
76. Rock climbers are doing hard work. Don’t they Everest?
77. The highway sign said, Watch for falling rocks. And I thought, OK fine, but I only have 10 minutes.
78. Students are excited to attend the geology class at the local school. They say it totally rocks.
79. When I met the Rock, he seemed quite shy. I expected him to be a little bolder.
80. I’m not good with conversations, so I practice talking to large rocks. It makes me boulder.
81. I’ve got a horrible memory. I couldn’t remember what onomatopoeia or metaphor meant and then BAM it hit me like lightning. It was like the time I remembered similes and realized I am dumb as a box of rocks.
82. So my brother is dating a mermaid.
Yeah, apparently their relationship’s on the rocks.
83. So I thought I’d start my own rock band
I wanted to call it The Rubber Band. But I thought that was a bit of a stretch.
84. Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
