Although Coronavirus pandemic is no laughing matter, there is still space for us to focus on things that are within our control. One of the things that help is shared laughter, which can lighten up the mood and give some encouragement during tough times. Here are some of the best jokes about Covid-19 that we found.
60+ Jokes About Covid-19 To Spread Good Vibes
1. What do you call someone whose life didn’t change after quarantine?
An introvert.
2. What did one novel coronavirus say to the other?
“Oh, the places you’ll see.”
3. How do you socially distance yourself while around family?
A high-fibre diet.
4. Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny?
The ones they hear are in bad taste.
5. What did the man say to the bartender?
I’ll have a corona, hold the virus.
6. What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany?
The wurst-kase scenario.
7. Why didn’t the sick guy get the joke?
It flu over his head.
8. How does COVID travel?
The Batmobile.
9. What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch?
Mac and sneeze.
10. What do all virus jokes have in common?
They are all pretty catchy.
11. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly.
12. If a baby boom happens nine months from 2020, what will happen in 2033?
There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.
13. Where do sick boats go to get healthy?
The dock!
14. Did you hear about the guy speculating on hand sanitiser? He was rubbing his hands together.
15. What do you call staging a beer in every room of the house?
A pub crawl.
16. What did one single person say to the other single person during lockdown? “If COVID doesn’t take you out, can I?”
17. Why hasn’t anyone in Antarctica contracted COVID-19? They’re so ice-o-lated.
18. What is the one situation where eating raw garlic may prevent COVID-19? It helps keep everyone at a safe distance.
19. What’s the worst part of homeschooling?
You can’t transfer students out of your class.
20. What did the astronauts say to NASA when they notified them that their mission was complete and they could return to earth? Thanks, but no thanks.
21. What’s the difference between the Alpha and Delta variants?
I don’t know; it’s all Greek to me.
22. Why do they call it the novel coronavirus?
It’s a long story….
23. What’s the best way to avoid touching your face?
A glass of wine in each hand.
24. What’s the difference between COVID and politics?
Politics doesn’t end after two weeks.
25. What’s the best part of teaching your children at home?
You can’t be fired for drinking on the job.
Jokes About Covid-19 To Lighten Up The Mood
Here are some funny one liner jokes about Covid-19 to brighten up your day.
26. Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent. Then it Dawned on me.
27. I’m not talking to myself, I’m having a parent-teacher conference.
28. During lockdown, I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog — we laughed a lot.
29. Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
30. Lockdown means you get to decide each day what outfit you’ll wear in your living room.
31. I’ve gained so much weight during lockdown my bathroom scale is telling me that it can only weigh one person at a time.
32. Knock-knock!
Who is there?
Seriously, don’t touch my door and stay 6 feet away.
33. I thought you had to wear a mask when entering businesses. They kept yelling at me to put on some pants.
34. I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
35. Back in my day, you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
36. Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious grandchildren. One of them says to the other, “Mine are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.”
37. Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”
38. My mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. But look at me now, ma! I’m saving the world!
39. The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
40. Since we’re all in quarantine I guess we’ll be making only inside jokes from now on.
41 Quarantine has really put a damper on comedy. For months nobody has walked into a bar.
42. My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.
43. I would make a COVID-19 joke, but it would be tasteless.
44. After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason.
45. Being quarantined with a talkative child is like having an insane parrot glued to your shoulder.
46. I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
47 Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pyjamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
48. Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.
49. Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.
50. I woke up today realising that 2022 sounds like “2020 too”…..oh no.
51. Yeah, I have plans tonight. I’ll probably hit the living room around 8 or 9.
52. If you bought 144 rolls of toilet paper in preparation for a 14-day quarantine, you probably should have been seeing a doctor long before coronavirus.
53. I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.
54. I never thought that my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!
55. If I keep stress-eating at this level, the buttons on my shirt will start socially distancing from each other.
56. I’m not buying a planner for next year until I see a trailer!
57. Nothing like relaxing on the couch after a long day of being tense on the couch.
58. If coronavirus isn’t about beer, why do I keep seeing cases of it?
59. Knock-Knock!
Who’s there?
Etch
Ech Who?
Bless You!
60. Isn’t it wild how we used to eat cake after someone blew on it?
61. I’m so angry at the shopkeeper for lying to me. They said a mask and gloves was enough to go to the grocery store. When I got there, everyone else had clothes on.
62. You know what they’re saying about 2020. It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.
63. So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.
