Just “Being”: What I’ve Not Done While At Home

Practising The Pause: What I’ve Not Done While At Home
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If I were to sum up what I observe on my social media feed nowadays, it would mainly be posts about “what-I-did”, “what-you-should-do” and lots of “how-to” guides. Sometimes after browsing mindlessly, I would be thinking what on earth am I doing?

Instead of jumping into the same bandwagon as the rest of crowd, I think it’s important we find our own rhythm that works for us and our families. Being cooped up at home is no joke, but honestly, it’s not the worst place to be in at this point of time.

What’s important now is we help our country reduce the spread of the virus (by staying home) and help ourselves stay that way. Do whatever that makes us happy – physically and mentally. Even if it means doing nothing productive at all.

I don’t want to fall into the trap of doing and achieving in this period. I don’t want to be the next MasterChef, Marie Kondo or MP. I don’t need to learn a new skill or hobby, flatten my tummy (just want to flatten the curve), or earn tons of money (although some would be nice). I just want to keep myself and my family afloat this stormy sea.

What I’ve Not Done During the Circuit Breaker

Since many people has posted what they have done, maybe let me share what I’ve not done or failed to do during this Circuit Breaker period.

1. Toilet train my 3-year-old

What better time right? He’s at home all the time. We bribed him with rewards and even bought a cute toilet seat. But he stubbornly refuses to go when he needs to pee-poo. I’ve got to pick my battles. No energy to negotiate with a threenager.

2. Read more

Confession time…I panic-borrowed seven books one day before the start of Circuit Breaker and I haven’t even gone past book one.

3. Exercise more

Original plan was to exercise twice a week minimally. It’s been more than 2 weeks into the CB and I’ve only managed to sneak in a quick run once. The inertia of leaving the house is massive. The thought of changing into exercise gear and looking presentable tires me already.

4. Sleep more

Sleep

I can kiss goodbye to any naps as things at home with HBL back-to-back from the time the kids are awake till they sleep. My only ‘me’ time is obviously after they sleep. Ironically, the more exhausted I am, the more ‘me’ time I need to reset to normal mode. And sleep doesn’t count as ‘me’ time. So the sleep-deprived cycle continues till weekend (no HBL).

5. Bake more

I use my oven only once a week, mostly to roast food. Never to bake a cake. Actually the only bake I’m interested in is one without flour. The fewer the ingredients, the easier it is to clean. At the start of Circuit Breaker, I saw a video about a 3-ingredient Milo-cake using milo powder, eggs and condensed milk. The mixture is to be steamed for an hour. I thought wow, maybe I could do this. Bought all the stuffs. Suffice to say, they’re still around…somewhere (minus the eggs).

6. Eat healthier…more

The fridge has been my source of comfort after a long hard day of work. No, I don’t put my head in but I take snacks out. Once the kids are asleep, the reptilian brain kicks in and craves for instant sweet and salty gratification. I survived today. Reward time!

Learning to be Satisfied

I think I shall be satisfied with less. As a SAHM, my hands are full but my strength is empty with so much giving. Pushing myself to do more things during the Circuit Breaker isn’t exactly a wise thing to do.

I have learnt to be ok with being unproductive in the standards of the world.

This Covid-19 pandemic has made us rethink our priorities and productivity goals. What kind of productivity do I want?

I rather produce joy and thankfulness at home than strife and stress. I rather work on and produce character (including my own) than skills. I rather work on sharing my resources than hoarding it.

One step at a time, slowly.

Maybe it’s time to work on the ‘being’ instead of ‘doing’. Honestly, the doing is never done. So let’s dig deep, during this circuit breaker period.

READ: A SAHM Reflects on the New Normal

READ: Things to be Grateful for during these Circuit Breaker Times