Teachers may do most of the inspiring, and sometimes they also say funny jokes to lighten up the mood of a classroom. However, even teachers need some inspiration every now and then. Here are some funny teacher jokes to tell your teacher.
80+ Teacher Jokes To Laugh About
1. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes!
2. Why did the teacher jump into a lake?
To test the waters!
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3. Where does the geometry teacher send students when they complain of being cold?
Into the corner where it’s ninety degrees.
4. What’s a teacher’s favourite nation?
5. Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake
6. Why did the teacher turn the lights on?
Because her class was so dim.
7. Why was the geometry class always tired?
Because they were all out of shape.
8. If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower, then what do teachers come on?
The scholar ships.
9. What do you call a teacher who can’t control her pupils?
10. Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school?
Because they sprained their angle!
11. What do you call a teacher without students?
Either happy or unemployed
12. What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles. Because there’s a mile between the first letter and the last.
13. What do you call a teacher who forgets to take attendance?
14. Why did the teacher write on the window?
Because the lesson needed to be clear.
15. Who’s the king of the classroom?
16. How is a teacher like a judge?
They both give out sentences.
17. What do you call a teacher who refuses to fart in class?
A private tooter.
18. What is a math teacher’s favourite sum?
19. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says “Spit your gum out” and the train says, “Chew, chew!”
20. How does a math professor propose to his fiance?
With a polynomial ring!
21. What Kind of Tests Do Witches Take?
22. What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
There, they’re, their.
23. What is a math teacher’s favourite snake?
24. Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
Because he swept her off her feet!
25. Where does a math teacher eat dinner?
At a multiplication table!
26. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
To test the water.
27. Why will math teachers never die?
They just lose some of their functions
28. What’s the difference between a teacher and a large pizza?
No one bullies a large pizza.
29. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
30. What kind of food do math teachers prefer?
31. Why does the principal keep talking to me about having more “arty eye” (RTI)? I teach reading, not art.
32. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
Pick them up and roll them back
33. Why did the teacher take a ladder to school on her first day?
Because she was going to teach at a high school.
34. What did the ghost teacher say to the class?
Look at the board and I will go through it again.
Funny Teacher Jokes Of Conversations With Students
Ever had a funny conversation with a teacher? Sometimes as students, we have wild ideas and other times as teachers we have a hilarious responses. Here is a list of teacher jokes that are conversations.
35. Teacher: “It is clear that you haven’t studied your geography. What’s your excuse?”
Student: “Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!”
36. Teacher: “Can anyone tell me what sort of animal a slug is?”
Student: “It’s a snail with a housing problem!”
37. Teacher: “Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes!”
Student: “We’re not passing notes. We’re playing cards!”
38. Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Student: The sign said, “SCHOOL AHEAD. GO SLOW!”
39. Teacher: “I’m glad to see your writing has improved.”
Student “Thank you!”
Teacher: “Now I can see how bad your spelling is though!”
40. Teacher: “Can you tell me something important that didn’t exist 100 years ago?”
41. Teacher: “I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you’ve only done it 7 times?”
Student: “Looks like my counting isn’t too good either!”
42. Student: “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?”
Teacher: “No, of course not.”
Student: “Good, because I didn’t do my homework.”
43. Teacher: “What did you do at the weekend?”
Student: “I did some cooking.”
Teacher: “Lovely, what did you bake?”
Student: “Synonym rolls just like grammar used to make!”
44. Teacher: Answer my question at once. What is 7 plus 2?
Student: At once!
45. Teacher: “Please don’t whistle while studying.”
Student: “Oh, but I’m not studying – just whistling!”
46. Teacher: “I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you’ve only done it 7 times?”
Student “Looks like my counting isn’t too good either!”
47. Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?
Student: Not really.
48. Teacher: If you got $40 from 5 people, what do you get?
Student: A new computer.
49. Teacher “How can you prove the earth is round?”
Student: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
50. Teacher: Why are you late for school?
Student: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does the sign have to do with you being late?
Student: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
51. Teacher: Name 2 pronouns
Student: Who, me?
52. Teacher: “How much is half of 8?”
Student: “Up and down or across?”
Teacher: “What do you mean?”
Student: “Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!”
53. Teacher: “Use the word ‘centimetre’ in a sentence”
Student: ‟My grandma was arriving at the train station so I was centimetre.”
Teacher: ‟No, no, that‘s ‘Sent to meet her‘. Okay, try another one. Use ‘contagious‘ in a sentence please”
Student: ‟I had to wait at the train station for hours because it took that contagious!”
54. Teacher: “We will only have a half-day of school this morning…”
Teacher: “Then we will have the other half this afternoon.”
55. Teacher: Give me a sentence beginning with “I”
Student: “I is the…”
Teacher: Remember you must say “I am” not “I is”
Student: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
56. Teacher: “Didn’t I tell you to stand at the end of the line?”
Student: “I tried but there was someone already there!”
57. Teacher: “Are there any classes you are struggling with?”
Student: “The Bourgeoisie.”
58. Teacher asks, “If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?”
“Really big hands!”
59. Teacher: “Did your parents help you with these homework problems?”
Student: “No I got them all wrong by myself!”
60. Teacher: “What’s the longest sentence you can think of?”
Student: “Life imprisonment.”
61. Teacher: “Give me a sentence with an ‘i’ in it.”
Student: “I is…”
Teacher: “No, when you say ‘i’, it should be followed by ‘am’.”
Student: “Okay, I am the 9th letter of the alphabet.”
Funny Teacher One Liners And Puns
Looking for some funny jokes to tell your teacher this teacher’s day? Here are some funny one-liners and puns about teachers that you can tell your teachers and classmates.
62. I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail.
But apparently, you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.
63. Did you hear about that new Netflix series about a chemistry teacher that finds out he has cancer and secretly opens a bakery to provide for his family when he’s gone?
It’s called Baking Bread.
64. In class, a teacher asked her students what was something good that they did today
The first kid says “I gave money to a homeless man”
The second kid says “I helped my mom with the chores”
The third kid says “I helped an old lady cross the street”
The teacher was very impressed and had high hopes for the fourth kid
The fourth kid then says “I prevented a fight”
The teacher amazed, asked the kid how
He replies with “Self Control”
65. My teacher used to always keep us in check by saying “What goes up must come down”
Great guy, bad flight instructor
66. My teacher told me I’d never be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic.
The joke’s on her. So far I’ve made three jugs and a vase and they’re lovely.
67. I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper, and a very strange look on his face yesterday
I think he may be plotting something.
68. If we’re going to arm the teachers, I hope they give the librarians silencers.
69. What if maths teachers are pirates and they just want us to find X so they can get the buried treasure?
70. After an exam the teacher said to me, “I hope I didn’t see you looking at John’s answers.”
I said, “I hope so too.”
71. Child: I think we need a new teacher.
Mum: Why’s that?
Child: Our teacher doesn’t know anything! She keeps asking us for the answers…
72. I told the teacher, “I don’t think I deserved a zero for this exam.”
She said, “I agree, but I couldn’t give you any less.”
73. My math teacher grew seaweed on his wife’s undergarments.
He really was fond of algae-bra.
74. In grade school, I had a math teacher named Mrs. Baker.
I still don’t understand why she taught us that 6 + 6 equals 13.
75. Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.
76. Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its students.
77. I was browsing through Netflix with my cooking teacher.
She said, “I don’t know what we should watch.”
I said, “Would you consider Squid Game?”
She said, “No, because it isn’t wild meat.”
78. A school teacher invited a person from another country to give a presentation to his students about their culture
After discussing history, traditions and lifestyle, the conversation turned to language. “One of the interesting things about our language,” he said, “is that there are no cuss words.” “But then what do you say if you are hammering a nail and accidentally hit your finger?” asked a student. “In that case,” he replied, “We use your language.”
79. To the English teacher that stole my calendar.
Your days are numbered. Mark my words.
80. Chemistry teacher: “Did you know protons have mass?”
Student: “I didn’t even know protons were Catholic.”
81. Little Monster: “I hate my teacher.”
Mother Monster: “Well, then just eat your salad, dear!”