Valentine’s is the time when love is in the air, but we’re sure that cupid is also ready to stir some laughs. Here are some Valentine’s Day-themed jokes that you’re sure to love and laugh over.
50+ Valentine’s Day Jokes
1. What’s the most romantic ship?
2. How did the cashew share its feelings with the almond?
“I’m nuts about you.”
3. Why are artichokes so loved?
They’re known for their hearts.
4. What do you call two sparrows who just got engaged?
5. What do you call a colourful heart that loves books?
6. How did the polite vegetable ask for a date?
“Peas be my Valentine.”
7. Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
8. How did the two prunes confirm dinner plans?
They said it was a date.
9. What is Valentine’s Day known as to single people?
10. What did the pickle say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re a big dill to me.”
11. How did one drum tell the other about its feelings?
“My heart beats for you.”
12. How did the coin propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a jingle.
13. Why did all the other fruit ask the banana to be their Valentine?
They were very a-peel-ing.
14. What did one Hershey’s bar say to the other who arrived long past their date time? “You’re choco-late.”
15. What did the baker say to his wife on V-Day?
“Gimme some sugar!”
16. What Valentine’s message can you find in a honeycomb?
17. How do sheep share their feelings with each other?
By saying, “I love ewe.”
18. What did one cantaloupe write to the other in their Valentine’s card?
“You’re one in a melon!”
19. What do you call a happy couple who first met via Twitter?
20. What did the love-obsessed candle say when it was lit?
“I found the perfect match!”
21. Which type of flower is the best at giving smooches?
22. What message is on a Valentine’s day card for cats?
23. Why was the canoe considered a heartthrob?
He was so row-mantic.
24. Why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before Valentine’s Day?
Her heart wasn’t in it.
25. What did the magnet say to the refrigerator?
I find you very attractive.
26. What are insects called when they’re dating?
27. How did the tennis ball flirt with the racquet?
By saying, “Hit me up!”
28. What do pieces of fruit write to each other in their V-Day cards?
“I love you berry much!”
29. What do online dating and online shopping have in common?
Sometimes you don’t get what you ordered.
30. What kind of flowers would your date question?
31. What can get you in trouble with the law on Valentine’s Day?
Stealing too many hearts.
32. What did the painter say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
I love you with all my art.
33. Why did the magnet hit on the refrigerator?
He found her to be very attractive.
34. How can you save money on Valentine’s gifts?
35. Why did the dad approve of his daughter’s goalie-boyfriend?
He was a real keeper.
36. Where did the piece of wood meet its Valentine?
37. Why didn’t the two dogs make serious Valentine’s Day plans?
It was just puppy love.
38. What did the couple say after they were struck by Cupid’s arrow?
39. How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine?
“Whale you be mine?”
40. Where did the high-heel take its date?
To the football.
41. What’s the best recipe for a perfect morning on February 14?
A hug and a quiche.
42. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m stuck on you.”
43. Why couldn’t the mineral water ever get a Valentine?
All of his friendships were so pla-tonic.
44. When do bed bugs fall in love?
In the spring.
45. What did the plate say to the bowl on Valentine’s Day?
Tonight, dinner’s on me.
46. What did one piece of toast say to the other?
“You’re my butter half!”
47. How do you contemplate your current and past relationships?
Organise the data and plotted it using an Ex-Axis and a Why-Axis.
48. What do you call someone with a cold on Valentine’s Day?
49. Why do air fresheners love Valentine’s Day?
They’re so scent-imental.
50. Never laugh at your date’s choices. You’re one of them.
51. Man on a Valentine’s date: “Table for two please.”
Waiter: “Do you have reservations?”
Man on a Valentine’s date: “Yes I’m worried it’s going to be expensive”
52. Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, February the 14th.
53. A comedian is taking me out for Valentine’s Day.
I hope he doesn’t get any funny ideas.