100+ Cow Jokes Sure To A-moose You And Your Friends

100+ Cow Jokes Sure To A-moose You And Your Friends
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Like cows or not, one has to admit that they’re entertaining animals. There are also plenty of funny cow puns to go around. We herded some of the funniest cow jokes we could find that we think will hit the bulls-eye when it comes to stirring up a laugh. Here are 100+ cow jokes to enjoy.


100+ Jokes About Cows That Are Family Friendly

100+ Jokes About Cows That Are Family Friendly

1. What happens when you try talking to a cow?
Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder

2. What kind of shows do cows like best?
Moosicals

3. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose


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4. Why did the two cows, not like each other?
They had beef

5. What’s a cow’s favourite drink?
Smooooooothie

6. What do you call a cow jumping on a trampoline?
A milkshake

7. How do dairy farmers do their taxes?
They go to an accow-ntant

8. Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side

9. What has the lone cow been up to lately?
Nobody’s herd

10. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime

11. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef

12. What type of milk do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk

13. What’s a cow’s favourite astral object?
The mooooooooooooooooon

14. What did one dairy cow say to the other?
Got milk?

15. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers

16. How do you know which cow is the best dancer?
See which one has the best moo-ves

17. What do you get if you cross a cow and rooster?
Roost beef

18. Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria

19. What does milking a cow smell like?
Dairy Air

20. How do cows meditate?
oooooooooM

21. What does the cow band play?
Moo-sic

22. Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work

23. What does the farmer talk about while milking a cow?
Udder nonsense

24. Where do cows get all their medicine?
The farmacy

25. What do evil cows say?
Moo ha ha

26. How do you count cows?
With a cowculator

27. What do you call a cow that just gave birth
De-caffeinated

28. What do cows read in the morning?
The moos-paper

29. What sound does a cow make when it runs out of milk?
None. There is udder silence.

30. What happened when the cows escaped from the paddock?
Udder Chaos

31. What do you call a cow that can’t make milk?
A milk dud

32. Why did the cow go on holiday?
Because it had a wee calf

33. What does a selfish cow say?
Meeeeee

34. What happens when a cow laughs?
Milk comes out of its nose

35. Why did the cow travel to the moon?
To checkout the Milky Way

36. Why was the cow arrested for jumping over the moon?
Because it broke the laws of physics

37. How’d the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down

38. What do you call a sad cow?
Moo-dy

39. A cowboy asked me if I could help round up 18 cows,
I replied ‘Of course, that’ll be 20 cows’

40. What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow?
I have no idea, but I wouldn’t try milking it.

41. Why were the aliens watching the cows?
They were on a steak-out

42. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a cow?
An animal in a baaaaaaaaaaad mooooooooood

43. How did the farmer find the missing cow?
He tractor down

44. How did the cow get to the moon?
It went to udder space

45. What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humour?
Laughing stock

46. Where does the King of Cows live?
In the Cattle

47. How do you make a cow be quiet?
Press the moo-te button

48. How much Spanish did the cow know?
Muuuuucho

49. What’s an unusual way to make a milkshake?
Give a cold cow a pogo stick

50. What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?
A visit from the ethics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funding

51. How tall are baby cows?
About calf height

52. Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way

53. Where did the cow spend all its money?
At the cow-sino

54. How does a cow wash its mouth?
Using a moo-thwash

55. What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak-out

56. How does the cow own the dance floor at barnyard parties?
He’s got the moos like Jagger

57. What do you call a rude cow?
Beef jerky


Funny Cow Jokes

58. Why won’t cows join the police force?
They refuse to participate in steak-outs

59. Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side

60. What is a cow’s favourite newspaper?
The Daily Moos

61. How do cows introduce their partners?
“Hey guys! Meat Patty.”

62. Why don’t cows have money?
Because the farmers keep draining them dry

63. Where do cows usually go on a Saturday night?
To the moovies

64. What do you call a scared cow?
A cow-ard

65. What would feed a bratty cow?
Spoiled milk

66. What is a cow’s favourite colour?
Marooooooon

67. What is a cow’s dream job?
Being an udder cover agent.

68. What do cows put on french toast?
Mooooolasses.

69. What did the cow say when the bull broke up with her?
Without you, I’ll never be whole milk again!

70. What did the cow say to its therapist?
“I feel seen, but not herd.”

71. Why did the farmer stop making cow jokes?
He kept butchering everyone.

72. What do you call a cow on a diet?
Lean beef.

73. What do you call a cow after an earthquake?
A milkshake.

74. What do you call a magic cow?
Moo-dini.

75. What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.

76. What did the cow say when the farmer pulled its tail?
How diary!

77. What is a cow’s favourite magazine?
Moogue.

78. How would you address the queen of cows?
Your Moojesty.

79. When one cow said “Mooo!” to the other, what was the second cow’s reply?
“I was going to say that!”.

80. Why do cows want to see Times Square?
Because it’s in Moo York City.

81. What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings?
Cow-moo-flauged.

82. Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk!

83. Why does a milking stool only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder.

84. When is milk the freshest?
When it’s still in the cow!

85. Who’s in charge of the dairy operations?
The cow-ptain.

86. What do you call a cruel cow?
A de-moooon.

87. Why do cows stay close together when it’s cold out?
To keep each udder warm!

88. Why did the artist love painting cows?
He said they were his moos.

89. What did the cows do after someone broke into the barn?
They beefed up their security.

90. Why do cows like to go to the spa?
To get some re-hoove-ination.

91. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime!

92. Where do Russian cows come from?
Mos-cow

93. When you cross a smurf with a cow, what do you get?
Blue cheese.

94. What did the cow say about the farmer’s bad outfit?
That outfit is so bad it’s laugha-bull.

95. What type of camera do cows use?
Cow-non.

96. Where do cows go on their days off?
To a moo-seum.

97. I tried raising cows, but they didn’t produce any milk.
Needless to say, my venture was an udder failure.

98. On a land full of grass, two cows were walking together.

Cow 1: Have you heard of the mad cow disease going around?

Cow 2: Yes, I’m so happy I’m a giraffe.


Knock Knock Jokes About Cows

Knock Knock Jokes About Cows

Knock knock! Who’s there? Some funny jokes about cows. Read on to hear some funny and family friendly knock knock jokes about cows.

99. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, silly, cows go moo!

100. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh-
MOO!

101. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow much longer will you put up with all this knocking?

102. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow-a-bunga, dude!


READ: Brand New Kids Space at HarbourFront Centre Opening 28 May

READ: Top Picks of June Holiday Camps & Workshops – Including a Space Camp!

READ: Discount Code to Enjoy 10% Off Holiday Camps